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IMAGINED HEADLINES

Friday, July 30th, 2010

Covering the gaming world with hot scoops since 1889!

Post-E3 Frog Rain

IGNN showcases some frogs in anticipation of a "frog rain"The Imaginary Game News Network, after reviewing all the recent events and announcements from E3 2010, predicts that over the next six months gamers will experience a flood of driving games, a plague of press releases using the term “3D gaming”, a war of words between motion-control marketing hypesters that will cause nausea, nosebleeds and bowel cramps, and a rain of frogs. Read the rest of this entry »

E3 Prognostibations

LucasArts booth at E3L.A., California–IGNN reports from E3 2010 on the stories that the rest of the gaming media ignored or missed–the stories that didn’t happen. Read the full story>>

Red Dead Ducks

Red Dead Redux is a fictional gameSAN DIEGO, CA–US2Games has a track record of mimicking successful game concepts and repackaging them, but has the company gone too far with Red Dead Redux (pronounced “re-ducks”). IGNN investigates the shadowy world of intellectual propriety. Read the full story>>

Videogame Visionary

Nintendo President Iwata at a game conventionBOSTON, MA–Nintendo’s Satoru Iwata recently revealed a buff torso and a bold vision of the gaming company’s vision of the future, which seems to involve wearing furry shorts. Read the full story>>

Volcano Boosted Sales

BK's evil dirigibleULM, Germany–Could increased game sales during the Icelandic volcanic eruption earlier this year have been caused by an evil mastermind’s plot? Recent claims by global dominator, BK (formerly Bobby Kotick of Activision), suggest that may be the case. Read the full story>>

Jobs’ Secret Flashdance

Apple logo with a second biteCUPERTINO, CA–Is Apple’s leader playing a clever game of chicken with rival Adobe over the future of Flash? IGNN’s Nell Chase digs into the startling reality behind recent statements by Steve Jobs. Read the full story>>

Reviews
  • Karaoke Surgeon
    December 15, 2009 |

    Karaoke SurgeonIb Sanchez–the king of pain–reviews the first medical/musical gaming experience, Karaoke Surgeon, from Sing Science. Ib says it’s a cut above the competition and rates it One spicy chalupa? Read the full story>>

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Interviews
  • The IGNN Interviews: K.K. Slider
    April 13, 2010 |

    Interview portrait of K.K.Slider from Animal CrossingK.K. Slider, the famous crooner from Animal Crossing, is in the spotlight for this round of the IGNN Interviews. IGNN staffer Rondo Nobson gets the poop on recent rumors that the musical mutt is planning a career change. You should be warned that parts of this interview are shocking and tasteless, and frankly, none of it is suitable for children or anyone with weak bowels. Read the full story>>

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Opinion

FEATURED STORIES

News Bites
  • Rare Countdown to the End?
    June 7, 2010 |

    Manworthing-On-Pebble, UK–Rare’s website is ticking off the days to some unknown and potentially catastrophic event that has kept the gaming world teetering on the edge of its seat for days. The Imaginary Game News Newtwork (aka Network) speculates as to the fate of gaming, mankind and a squirrel. Read the full story>>

  • Ogelstomp To Rescue Games
    March 24, 2010 |

    REDMOND, WA–Industry newbie, Marcus Oglestomp has a plan to save the gaming industry. Read the full story>>

  • Nintendo’s Head Games
    March 16, 2010 |

    KYOTO, JAPAN–Nintendo Co. Ltd. once again failed to confirm if the company has chosen to leapfrog the current generation of HD television sets for a future, higher definition technology that appears only in players’ minds. Read the full story>>

  • Stock Game Investigated
    March 15, 2010 |

    PROVIDENCE, R.I.–Start-up, OmniGood Games, has seen a meteoric rise in stock value of more than 10,000 percent over the past two months even though OGG hasn’t released anything except for upbeat press statements. Now the SEC wants to know what’s afoot. IGNN’s Nell Chase investigates. Read the full story>>

  • Microsoft discovers idiot programmer
    March 5, 2010 |

    REDMOND, WA–Protests of shock and dismay were heard throughout Microsoft today as the news spread that an employee in the Xbox group was actually an idiot. Is it possible that the Big M is a fool’s paradise? IGNN looks into charges of descrimination and drooling. Read the full story>>

  • Graffitinauts Banned In 12 States Before It Is Even Announced
    March 3, 2010 |

    SALEM, OR–Legislators across the country, seeking to stem the tide of reckless, society-changing videogame projects, have taken the unprecedented step of banning a non-existent game. IGNN has the reaction from both sides of the controversial decision. Read the full story>>

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Classic News
Do you have what it takes to play with Wild Hair Games? GDC Florislava--Come enjoy the Splik! English Accent Academy Online--At least sound intelligent. Krondor's Gild Bank--Protect your obsession
WARNING!

Some (or to be honest, all) content on this site might not be suitable for minors, non-gamers, mature adults or anyone who values truth, objectivity and journalistic ethics. If you object to overt mentions of metabolic or other bodily functions or the profligate use of multisyllabic diction, we advise proceeding with caution. Obscure gaming references and gaming jargon are used liberally and without consideration for readers who have an insufficient basis for comprehension or just don’t get it. Sorry. We don’t footnote anything, and The Imaginary Game News Network staff checks their facts about as often as Fox News bends over for the Obama administration. Humor us. We make this stuff up. All of it. Our creatively written stories are purely fictitious and are intended for the private use of our readers in the comfort of their own web browsers. Any resemblance to anything real is a really amazing coincidence.