For: iPhone/iPod Touch

Rating: One Candy, two Pickles, and a dead Marmot

Reviewed by: Rondo Nobson 

Who among us has not dreamed of soaring through the blue in the aerodynamic form of a Titelist? Maybe I should rephrase that.

“Be the ball, Danny.” Those were the four immortal words from the 1980 legendary golf spoof starring Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Michael O’Keefe and Rodney Dangerfield. But can Caddyshack truly translate into a video game almost 30 years later, particularly one that doesn’t even put you in the role of innocent, ass-kissing Danny Noonan? That was the challenge for Moon Gopher Studios of Braxton, Maine, although having played the results of MGS’s efforts I can’t imagine why they went to all the trouble to obtain the license. Instead of making a game in which players play golf, the player in Caddyshack, The Game: Be The Ball actually plays the role of the ball, and the only object is to roll around gophers, explosions, lightning strikes, giant doobies, lovely Lacey Underall’s sports car, out-of-control yachts, evil caddies, Snickers bars, Judge Smails golf cart and a host of other hilarious obstacles using the iPhone/iPod Touch motion control. Almost needless to say, you could have as much fun warming up for a tennis serve. I have to give it some candy for the realistic graphics, but every time Ty Webb whacks you with his club during the big match, your on-screen dimpled ball character shrieks like a freaking witch in the rain. I was wearing my ear buds the first time this happened and literally did a Snickers bar in my pants. That wasn’t a good sign. After nine holes I wanted to kill myself. After 17 holes I wanted to kill the guys at Moon Gopher Studio–they have no idea what a great decision it was to locate their business three thousand miles from me. Anyway, the dead Marmot rating (my overall lowest mark) stems from the inclusion of the idiotic minigame in which John Belushi eats you and you have to negotiate your way through his GI tract. For god’s sake, that’s not even in reference to the same movie but to Animal House! The other unforgiveable thing had nothing to do with the game itself, but the marketing blurb in the App Store, in which some sad loon described the game’s genre as Roll Playing. True enough, but still pathetic. My advice–don’t even download the free Lite Version. The three hole trial may not make you want to kill anyone, but your crockery may be in danger.