LOS URBANOS, CA–What if you could download one app for your mobile device that rolled every convenience and entertainment experience into one, easy-to-use application? That question was the genesis of Toliver Benke’s The One App, now on sale in the App Store for iPhone. But Benke’s kitchen sink thinking wasn’t the only unique approach the out-of-work programmer took.

The One App was created in this tiny, Los Urbanos studio, soon to be vacated by developer Benke.

“What I know about marketing you could print on a lady bug’s ass,” said the inventor. “And all these reports of there being 20 billion apps and only a handful of them selling enough to pay for a ham sandwich, well, it’s kind of discouraging. So I came up with the idea of selling just one copy and making a killing on it.”

Unlike the majority of apps that sell for just 99 cents, Benke has set a premium price of one million dollars for The One App. Asked if he thought that price might be a tad expensive, Benke responded, “Not at all. It’s a heck of an app. For that price, not only do you get the only copy of The One App, you also get 24/7 service and your own personal programmer–me–who will be happy to add any additional features you can imagine.” Benke added, “In fact, since I’m about to be kicked out of my apartment, I’m even available to come live with The One App’s purchaser…I’m quite neat and I do dishes.”

IGNN was given a preview of the exclusive app, and although we enjoyed thumbing through the universal conversion calculator and iWhoopie Cushion options, most of our time was spent on The One App’s game–Super Sudoku Sim Fantasy Battle Theft Doom Racer Bros.–which, in our opinion, rocks like Zeppelin and delivers plenty of hot, crispy gaming goodness the likes of which have never before appeared on the iPhone platform. But in spite of our shamelessly pandering comments, Benke refused to give us a complimentary copy of The One App, forcing us to retract everything we wrote in the previous sentence about this stink bomb of an app. Unfazed by our reversal, Benke maintained a positive outlook. “I’m only looking for one sale. How hard can that be?” — Nell Chase