IGNN–The Imaginary Game News Network

The Imaginary Game News Network is coming to this space very soon, and we hope you check back as we do not want you to miss a single, scurrilous sentence. As your chief correspondent, I pledge to avoid all semblance of the truth in my posts. The Imaginary Game News Network has set itself a lonely path into the wilderness of pure speculation and fantasy, where we intend to become quite lost. So if you seek actual game news, we can suggest several gaming media outlets that will cater to your desire for fact-checked authenticity (537 at last count)…and that’s just the ones with the word Wii incorporated into their URLs. Let us be frank; the editor-in-chief lined us up against the wall yesterday afternoon and let us know in no uncertain terms that any verified factual content posted by any of the staff will result in immediate termination. Then he threw ping pong balls at us and laughed like a hyena until Senior Casual Games Editor Miles Plee wept like a child who’d been deprived of his hooter. It was an ugly scene and not one likely to inspire the sort of  close comaraderie one so often hears about in association with Internet start-ups. The fact is that I have no choice. If I refuse to do the Evil Clone’s bidding, I will be deported back to my home village at the foot of Mt. Sevapali, where three members of my immediate family were devoured by tigers last Thursday evening. I do not wish to return. I like America very much. I have yet to encounter voracious carnivores in the neighborhood where I rent a pleasant tent trailer, although I did have a disturbing moment last night involving three racoons that had got hold of a Phillips-type screwdriver, the use of which they seemed to grasp to an uncanny degree. Maybe I should not go on. But to conclude, let me say that it would please me a great deal if you returned to visit our humble site in a day or two, when I’m certain you’ll find much to your liking. We are all working very hard making up stories about games, such as, did you know that Pong was invented by a great baseball pitcher? Nolan someone, I think. Yes, it is as true as anything that you will find here on the Imaginary Game News Network. Please enjoy.–Ram “Danger” Pootawali (Yes, in America my middle name is Danger. Isn’t that cool?)