KYOTO, JAPAN–Surprising most industry observers, Nintendo Co. Ltd. today unveiled a new, miniature version of the popular Wii video game console, called Mini Wii, which will debut this fall at a bargain price of just $9.99 MSRP.

“The original Wii will remain at its current price level,” said a Nintendo spokesperson. “But we are offering this lower-cost, no nuts and bolts version as an entry-level member of the Wii family so that even more would-be gamers can experience the magic of Wii.”

Introducing the Mini Wii--the tiniest home video game console ever released.

Technical specifications were not available, but industry sources who have worked on the new, diminutive console say that Nintendo wasn’t fudging its description.

“When I opened it up, there wasn’t a nut or bolt in sight,” reports one anonymous engineer who has worked with the system. “Fact is, even being so small, its virtually empty in there. One puny little processor and something that looked like a graham cracker crumb. That’s it. I don’t think I’d be exaggerating to say that my toaster could push more polygons than that thing.”

But Nintendo counters that technology is only as powerful as the imaginations of those who use it. Noting extensive research suggesting that most Wii owners couldn’t care less if the console’s graphics are, as one survey-taker put it, “a bit on the crappy side,” Nintendo’s new Mini Wii offers an even more basic graphical interface while retaining Wii’s defining motion controls.

“Minimalist esthetics are in keeping with the economics of today’s world, which is why black and white line art graphics are the right choice for the Mini Wii,” explained Nintendo of America VP of Bluster & Stuff, Bonnie Klydette.

The Mini Wii will not be sold with controllers, but all Wii controllers and accessories will operate normally with the new console. Furthermore, Nintendo will make a Mini Wii version of every new Wii game it publishes, which will be burned on a proprietary Mini DVD the size of a dime.

In an informal Imaginary Game News Network poll, the reaction from developers was divided between one camp that believed such technical limitations would doom the new console and/or the video game industry and a second group that applauded what they saw as a leveling of the playing field between big developers and small indie studios.

“This is the best thing since Flash,” raved Martin Pimbertoni of Two-Legged Games. “I’m like the worst artist ever, and my partners are twice as bad. We are gonna save so much money making Mini Wii games that we’re finally going to be able to afford a roof.”

The Mini Wii version of the New Mario Bros. for Wii was unveiled along with the console at a press conference in Kyoto, Japan.

In fact, Two-Legged Games and other small developers are looking to capitalize on the simple graphics in a novel way.

“We’re gonna let the players draw their own graphics,” Mr. Pimbertoni explained. “It’s their game. Why shouldn’t they get to express themselves in it. I do not tell a lie when I say that most of them could do a damn sight better than what me, Bob and Jersey Jim could do.”

A contrary opinion was expressed by a high-end developer of PS3 games, ZycorSoft’s president Lynn Mephistapholos. “If they succeed at this, I’m going to sell my brain because clearly it won’t be needed.”

Cynicism aside, Activision Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick was ecstatic upon hearing the news.

“This is exactly what I’ve been calling for over the past few months. I feel completely vindicated. What it means in the long term is that the money consumers save on the console–which frankly is nothing more than a doorstop unless you put a game in it–will be money that they can spend on games. And in keeping with that philosophy, I’m proud to announce that Activision Blizzard will be raising its prices across the board to accommodate those consumers who will now have more money to invest in games. I encourage them all to consider it an investment as I intend to keep raising the price of games until I find the upper limit of consumer acceptance and/or moral outrage.”

The new Mini Wii is scheduled for a November release and ,as Bonnie Klydette skillfully noted, “at the Mini Wii’s size and price point, we expect to find one in every…well, let’s just say that it’s fitting for any festive occasion at which giving is customary.” –Dr. Jess Ariella