Getty Bids On Games
Players must decide if the offered painting is authentic or a clever forgery.
LOS ANGELES, CA–Masterpiece Auction, a new live action art auction game for Zune featuring Getty Images extensive digital art collection, is slated for a fall release. “This is not Masterpiece, the old board game from Milton Bradley, not in any way, shape or form,” explained Getty spokesperson Emily Van Gogh (no relation). “Aside from the fact that you bid on famous paintings against other players not knowing the value, which could be anything from one million dollars to zilch because some of the paintings are clever forgeries, there’s nothing even remotely similar between the games.”
Getty Images and Microsoft Casual Games came up with the idea during a Microsoft entrepreneurial retreat, where many famous paintings were on display courtesy of Getty Images.
“We were all snacking on Doritos and sucking down mojitos by the pitcher when I had this great idea about buying and selling classical art on my Zune,” said Zune applied concepts manager Dillon Broadbeck.
“He was waving his cheese-coated fingers in my face and blabbering like a chimp,” agreed Emily Van Gogh (really, no relation at all, the name is just a weird coincidence), “but the idea was brilliant–a masterpiece! No, let me rephrase that–it was masterful.”
“The game will utilize the new Zune Game Room feature that connects gamers to others who have the same software and are online at the same time,” Broadbeck described. “Of course, there aren’t any users yet, but we’re planning on giving people a free trial that converts into a $14.99 monthly subscription with opt-out or a special 12 month premium membership for $267.00, which our testing has shown to be the absolute limit for consumer opt-out resistance.”
We spoke to Microsoft marketing and pricing Tsar, Lens Bipan, who shared further details: “We’ve discovered that once many consumers have been getting a service for free, they will not opt-out when the service shifts to a subscription-based model unless the expenditure reaches an unsustainable level–that’s what we call opt-out resistance. It’s really a measure of inconvenience, and we’re banking on the fact that most people won’t make that inconvenient effort to opt-out unless the monthly subscription is so painful that they really have no choice.”
A quick walk-through of the Opt-Out process for Zune Game Room proved to be impractical or possibly impossible, which demonstrated a further element of Microsoft’s masterful strategy.
Lens Bipan explained: “We make the Opt-Out process so mind-bogglingly confusing and frustrating that 97% of all consumers who want to opt-out get fed up with the process and come to the happy conclusion that it is far easier to simply go on paying for the service indefinitely or until they die.”
What this will mean for Masterpiece Auction is anyone’s guess, but it’s clear that the strategy behind the game’s subscription service is a sure bet.
“In the end, everyone is happier. Certainly Microsoft is happier, and Getty Images gets a new revenue stream for these great works of art, and players benefit by exposure to cultural icons that would be far too expensive for them to enjoy were they to legally download a digital file from Getty for hundreds of smackeroos,” Bipan concluded with a chuckle. “Like I said, everyone wins.”
SAUSALITO, CA–Video game giant Electronic Arts unexpectedly announced that it was “through with anything electronic” and abandoned its corporate complex last night, moving into a former whaling vessel docked in the Marin county bayside community hours later. Signs of unrest at the once profitable game publisher had been noted by industry watchers over the past few weeks. Mass layoffs, refocusing on core products, TP missing from the restrooms–all of it painted a picture of unrest at Electronic Arts. But the deciding factor seems to have come when the board of directors opted for a greener future
As a lover of fine art and a member of the Free Art Access Legion of Advocacy and Latent Action, or FAALALA, I believe that all art should be on display free of charge whether live or in digital form for the enjoyment and edification of all human beings who wish to be enriched. In so much as corporate control of historic art assets can only lead to reduced access and a lessening of the benefits of art within our culture, we at FAALALA advocate the abolition of art slavery and ownership in any form. We believe that once an artist is dead and rotting in the ground or blowing in the wind that ownership of her/his art should immediately transfer to a World Art Conservancy Organization, where it can be shared and preservered for everyone’s benefit. In fact, we demand this. If our demands are not met, however, we have the means and the mental toughness to enact measures that will force our enemies to their art-hording knees. You can join us at our official FAALALA web site, where donations are always welcome.