CUPERTINO, CA–Apple Inc. responded in kind today to a value bundle promoting Microsoft’s newly launched Windows 7 operating system by revealing its own “value proposition” to cost-conscious consumers. The PC promotion offered at Best Buy stores packages one desktop computer, one laptop and one netbook–all for the price of one of Apple’s recently upgraded iMacs for $1,199. Apple’s “Appleooza” promotion (announced 12 minutes ago) bundles an iMac, two iPhones, 10 iPod Nanos and a 2009 Porsche Cayman all for the staggering price of just $59,999. Said Apple spokesperson Johnny Aseed, “Their offer may be cheaper, but how the hell are you going to get all that crap back home?” Microsoft CEO, Steve Ballmer, responded: “I will personally drive them home in my Rolls. That’s how much I love PCs, you vicious Apple bastards! And good luck fitting one of those honking iMac screens into a Cayman.” No further invective has been issued by Apple at this time.