EA Changes Game Plan, “No More Electronics”
The new home of Environmental Arts is on a former whaling ship in San Francisco Bay.
SAUSALITO, CA–Video game giant Electronic Arts unexpectedly announced that it was “through with anything electronic” and abandoned its corporate complex last night, moving into a former whaling vessel docked in the Marin county bayside community hours later. Signs of unrest at the once profitable game publisher had been noted by industry watchers over the past few weeks. Mass layoffs, refocusing on core products, TP missing from the restrooms–all of it painted a picture of unrest at Electronic Arts. But the deciding factor seems to have come when the board of directors met and voted to begin a new, greener future for the company making organic scented candles.
“I didn’t get into this business to squander electrons,” announced CEO John Riccitiello. “And frankly, with global warming on the rise and casual Wii players gutting the hard core gaming market, we just don’t see a future in anything electronic. So we’re making a strategic shift to an older product that utilizes a more stable and renewable energy source–namely, fire.”
WORTHY, SUSSEX, UK–Alex VanImpish was at the peak of his game. With Rock Band mates Luke, Jennie Q. and Ibid, Alex reached the finals of the UK Rock Band championship held by Electronic Arts last month. The band, known as ColdPlastic, had grown a Facebook following of over a million fans in just three weeks, and lead guitarist Alex was the instant darling of the gamer scene, cementing his status as gaming’s heartthrob kid by appearing on Sky TV’s The Beatles Rock Band release day demopalooza.
