The wall stain in question is found just below the giant statue of Christ the Redeemer.

LONDON, U.K.–Emanuel Idlington of Camden Court Lane, London was shocked and appalled to discover an image of Jesus Christ cleverly concealed in a scene of the recently released war game, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. The alleged blasphemous image (as highlighted in the photo) appears as a wall stain in a Rio de Janeiro slum. During a fierce fire-fight while playing the game, Emanuel noticed the stain and was drawn to it.

“Something about the stain just didn’t seem right,” related Emanuel (27), an unemployed promotions director, “so I paused the game and knelt in front of the telly to really study what was there.”

Due to the extraordinary resolution of Idlington’s 50″ Pioneer Elite Kuro plasma TV, he was able to discern the likeness of a bearded, long-haired man who resembled Jesus Christ.

“Or Johnny Depp,” admitted Idlington. “My girlfriend thought it was Depp.”

“I did,” confirmed Marta Valenz (27), who describes herself jokingly as Idlington’s bit of crumpet which, translated into American, means something like squeeze. “I thought it was Johnny Depp. I still do. He’s the sexiest man alive…except for Manny, of course.”

Controversy has swirled around Idlington’s indictment since he first came forward last Tuesday. The presence of Jesus Christ in a war game echoes the sentiment first expressed by Pope Clement III “call me Clementine”, who famously declared on the occasion of instigating the bloody Third Crusade that Jesus was the general of God’s holy army. “And he shall smite down God’s enemies with flaming loaves and giant fishes shall rise from the deep and nibble upon their toes.” But clerics in England, the United States and even in Brazil have been quick to echo Idlington’s shock.

The Reverend Francis Smidge of Crockers Bottom, Virginia weighed in during a rally in Washington D.C.: “It’s time that Christian consumers speak for and defend the Lord with their pocket books so that our children aren’t exposed to this type of blatant sensationalism.”

A spokesperson from Activison said that the assertions were baseless then pointed out that if one looked slightly up and to the left of the stain one could see the giant statue, Christ the Redeemer, which overlooks all of Rio. “Yes, Jesus is in the game, but he’s not hidden as some sort of insidious message. Sometimes a stain is just a stain,” remarked the representative, who refused to confirm or deny her own religious convictions during the press conference.

Further confusing matters, a member of the Infinity Ward development team anonymously blogged that the stain texture in question was constructed from a photo he’d taken of the bottom of his shoe shortly after he’d stepped in something unpleasant.

Even so, Idlington and his followers are demanding an updated version of the game with a whitewashed wall replacing what they find to be so offensive.

“The traditional miraculous representations of Jesus and his mum as seen in wrinkled bed linens and slices of toast are fine by me,” stated Idlington, “but when a corporation uses religious faith as a promotional tool to draw attention to themselves when they’re looking for work, well, that’s not right…Pardon me, I meant to say looking for free publicity, not work.”  Nell Chase