These ESRB assault survivors seemed oddly drained of emotion after their terrifying experience. Who can blame them?

NEW YORK, NY–A disgruntled worker at the Entertainment Software Rating Board office in New York City was cited and taken into custody by police yesterday for allegedly perpetrating mild animated violence. The unidentified worker reportedly drew a stick figure flip book animation on a sticky note pad depicting himself attacking fellow workers with a bathroom plunger then repeatedly flipped the offensive animation in front of frightened colleagues, some of whom fled from the building in terror.

“The drawings were crude to say the least,” remarked arresting officer Patrick O’Milley of the 52nd Precinct. “I almost hesitate to call the images animations at all, but the cool thing is that if you use your thumb to rifle through the pad really fast, it actually looks like a short cartoon. I’ve got to show this to my kids.”

Fellow workers seemed relieved by the outcome, alluding to their coworker’s growing disenfranchisement with his job and colleagues.

“I knew he was about to snap,” commented Rachille Reich (35) who occupies a cubicle just ten feet from where the alleged mild animated violence erupted. “For the last two weeks he’s been acting psycho. Like when he goes into the employee restroom there’s all this sound like he’s banging on pipes. And yesterday he told the office manager she smelled like a frog.”

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