IGNN–The Imaginary Game News Network

In fact, Basimer felt so bad about having to layoff half his employees that before doing so he cut off his own hair to show his support.

Project lead, Gary Sammis, expressed some bitterness at the news. “What’s that supposed to do for us? Does he think we can eat his damn hair? Is his hair going to pay for the knee surgery my mom needs or buy baby formula for my infant? I’d like to cut off more than that prick’s hair.”

Other unemployed team members conveyed similar opinions, and three ex-employees were arrested for plotting to fill Basimer’s Lotus with cow manure and marshmallows.

Basimer admitted that his gesture might seem hollow given his recent five million dollar bonus. “I’ve been there myself,” he told IGNN. “I feel their distress and uncertainty. I myself have had to cut my planned spending in half. That’s the brutal reality we’re facing. No more villa in Italy for me. Did I mention that I’m also cutting my own salary by over a million bucks this year?”

“And still he’ll bring home over twice what he’s cutting,” spat Sammis. “He didn’t lift a finger to make that game, and by cutting costs he stands to profit by our sweat and tears. What I’d really like is to trim his nostril hairs with a lawnmower like the one Ricky Eddis uses in the game.”

Sammis’ reference to the game’s pimped-out John Deere lawnmower was echoed during a protest that was staged outside the Globoss offices. Former team members brandished other weapons and items from the game, such as Karaoke machines, check books, Blackberries and laptop computers while chanting anti-Globoss slogans.

Surprisingly, not all of the dismissed workers felt embittered toward Basimer. Character artist Todd Siblansky was upbeat about his prospects. “The fact is he’s cutting off his own nose to spite his face, which from a character development perspective is a highly questionable strategy. As for me, I haven’t felt this free in years. I’ve always wanted to make a hidden object game, sort of a Sherlock Holmes meets the Jetsons kind of thing, and now I have the chance to do it.”

Sammis is also looking to the future. “Once the cow crap brigade gets out of jail, we’re going to form our own studio and make a game that is populated entirely with boss characters. The object will be to slice, dice, mince, chop, cut, saw, sever and decapitate them in really funny ways.” –Timm Bingo