TORONTO, ON–An unidentified masked man entered Toronto’s popular Gametree Arcade yesterday and wowed patrons with a superlative performance on the Donkey Kong arcade machine. Bystanders reported that the man cavorted, sang, joked, and periodically blew his nose while in the process of tallying a world record score that bested previous champ Steve Wiebe’s record by more than one hundred thousand points, or 1,150,100 points. Following the spectacle, the man melted into the crowd and has not been seen again. Although bystanders have verified the event, and the arcade owner has locked down the machine until DK authorities can verify the feat, the official Donkey Kong top score governing body–The DKTSGB –has yet to make any statement about the alleged world record.