IGNN–The Imaginary Game News Network

SAN JOSE, CA—To accommodate a growing community of small development companies, DevCaves Inc. has begun building office rental suites designed expressly for videogame, mobile app and Internet development companies. Suites include high-speed broadband, built-in servers, personalized cubicles with adjustable display shelves, optional overhead lighting, sleeping alcoves, showers, cafeteria services, discrete cleaning staff, and a bright, friendly psuedo office space for meeting with angel investors who might be lost or injured were they to wander into the dangerous development cave environment.

Lance Haward, codemeister general of Plicket Studio and a DevCave resident for the past nine months, thinks it’s a brilliant concept. “Brilliant concept! Utterly, frigging brilliant. It’s like living and working in a womb, but without all the sloshing about and hiccups. Brilliant. Inspiring really. We often code for three days straight, then the team goes into their hibernation units for a day and then we’re back at it. We’ve cranked out three major releases in just nine months. Brilliant!”

But not everyone is thrilled about working in the dark.

“It’s scary in there,” reported Cary Undersitter, a recent hire at another DevCave-based development studio. “I don’t know for sure, but I may have been the only female in the cave—it’s just too damn dark to tell. But what I could tell is that I always had the feeling that someone was watching over me…and I don’t mean like Jesus or someone like that…but, well, like I was dinner. There were noises, too. And once I found a damp sock monkey draped over the back of my chair. It was all I could do to find the door and get the hell out of there.”

According to numerous reports, that sense of forboding has not been limited to young female employees. Doug Excesemer of Flights of Fungus Entertainment, got the shock of his life when the lead artists on his project appeared in a team meeting dressed in swimming trunks and pushing a giant, bubbling pot of Nalley’s chili into the room, where he began asking for volunteers to jump in.

“Yeah, nobody bothered to tell me about Liam’s chili obsession,” explained Mr. Excesemer. “I would be lying if I told you that it didn’t make me uncomfortable. It seemed pretty clear that anyone who didn’t jump into the pot would be considered an outsider. I’ll never be able to look at a can of Nalley’s chili the same way again.”

DevCave owner and CEO, Alex Biblinken, laughs off the accusations and points out that he doesn’t dictate the policies or codes of conduct for his tennants. “It’s like Vegas, you know. What goes on in a DevCave stays in a DevCave. Maybe it’s best we don’t know, you know?”

For now, the trend seems to be growing as start-ups look for inexpensive dev holes to inhabit on the cheap, but if too many employees are creeped out by the old school environments, Mr. Biblinken’s gravy pit may end up being a money pit instead. –Nell Chase