Microsoft discovers idiot programmer
REDMOND, WA–Microsoft management was shocked to discover an idiot working on sensitive Xbox 360-related gaming initiatives within an elite programming group.
“We had absolutely no idea that he was an idiot,” confessed group leader, Maxine Kingsbury-Stiltonwich. “He seemed to be coding things just fine, and he seldom drooled any more than the other team members. I’ll tell you right now that he had us all fooled.”
The programmer, whom we shall not name in order to protect his family, apparently worked on multiple Xbox-related projects over the course of the past three years. Exactly how thick the programmer was has not been calculated with certainty, but it seems as if countless snafus and bugs related to Xbox launches may eventually be attributed to this one idiot.
“It’s with a great sense of relief that I can say we’ve found the source of all our Xbox woes and that we’ve eliminated that source,” said Robbie Bach, President of the Entertainment & Devices Division at Microsoft, who pledged to ensure that no more idiots will work for the company. “This is a company that prides itself on intelligence and in that atmosphere there is no room for idiots,” said Bach, no relation to the famous, 17th century composer.
Representatives of the Idiots Rights League protested the announcement in an open letter to Microsoft, calling the company plain stupid, discriminatory, and full of stuff.
One idiot interviewed on the streets of Redmond responded in favor of Microsoft, however: “It really is a world-class company with super smart people who don’t drool too much. I’d work for them in a second.”
One Response to “Microsoft discovers idiot programmer”
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I have to take exception with this portrayal. I’ve worked at Microsoft for more than 10 years and I’ve been an idiot that entire time. Microsoft has never treated me like a second class citizen just because I’m a dunderhead. And I’ve done some incredibly idiotic things, too. Never have my colleagues belittled my inadequacies or made me feel less a part of the team. In fact, I’ve noticed that many colleagues try their hardest to emulate my idiotic gaffs as a means of making me feel comfortable. I would think that you idiots at IGNN would understand this.