SAN FRANCISCO, CA— Following 17 months of titillation by Sony’s marketing machine, the announcement and media debut of the upcoming motion controller for PS3, the PlayStation Move, finally made headlines at GDC 2010. The wand thingy device, which features six-axis motion sensitivity, an accelerometer and a terrestrial magnetic field sensor (that Sony promises won’t alter the space-time continuum or screw up goose migrations) was declared by the world’s gaming press to be the most exciting, unexpected and totaling industry-changing news story of all-time. So it should come as no surprise that Sony has followed up the revolutionary news release with a new news initiative to maximize the wave of positive press.

“We didn’t expect the raves and accolades,” said a humbled SCEA VP for Motion-Controller Original Initiatives, Joel Zarbasky. “But we’ve learned that staying on the cutting edge of technology announcements pays off. So today, I’d like to announce Sony’s new Technological Information Tidbit Initiative (TITI), which states that it will be Sony’s policy to instigate new technology stories at least one year in advance of providing any substantive information about any future product and, in keeping with the fun nature of the video game industry, to periodically tease the press with tidbits, red herrings and false leads to make it a sort of treasure hunt experience. Cool, huh?”

Zarbasky then went on to make the first TITI statement of this brave new era.

“I’m pleased to announce today that Sony will release a new digitally-based technology that promises revolutionary new experiences and resolutions heretofore never even dreamed of by human beings, and it will include a multisensory component to provide five-factor perceptions,” announced Zarbasky. “It’s a new wave of brain-centric gaming interfaces, and it will connect to the Internet and Twitter!”

“I have no flipping idea what Joel just said,” reported an editor from Game Embalmer magazine, “but I’m totally on-board with it. Our staff is already creating a mockup of what this amazing new digi-brain-thingy might look like so our readers can share in our excitement.”

IGNN has obtained a secret photo of a prototype being tested at Sony’s super secret laboratory, located behind the K-Mart in Mission Santa Fuentes, CA, which seems to suggest that further testing is required before the new game system is ready for public release.

When contacted for comment, Zarbasky poo-pooed our questions about developmental issues and promised more juicy tidbits on Project Whatzit soon.