REDMOND, WA—In a move more reminiscent of a sci-fi movie plot than corporate machinations, Nintendo of America has confirmed hiring a new marketing head, stating that the head was sufficient for undertaking the duties of the job while the acquisition of a new body to go along with the head would have amounted to an exorbitant and unwarranted expense.

“We needed a top marketing mind,” stated NOA president Reggie Fils-Aime, who recently made headlines when he fired his own body as a cost-saving measure. “We don’t need and, frankly, we can’t afford all those extra parts.”

The head in question has a long record of marketing accomplishments, from brand development of a successful line of shampoos to overseeing marketing strategies for headache medicines.

“Nintendo is providing a really great jar for me,” said the head, when asked how it will get along without the conventional assistance of its body for perambulatory activities, not to mention autonomic functions, such as breathing, digesting and pumping blood. “It’s a state-of-the-art cybernetic head jar, and it’s my favorite color…blue!”

“The sad reality is that bodies have legs,” commented Fils-Aime, “and bodies with legs tend to walk. That’s what we’ve experienced over the years, and it’s why we’ve made the corporate decision to employ heads only from this time forward.”

Although such moves may seem drastic, it turns out that Nintendo is not the first company to employ unattached heads. Dr. Martha Menninger Moralez has performed dozens of corporate decapitations in recent years and cites the poor economy as a driving motivation to reduce dead weight by industry heads.

Said Dr. Moralez: “I know of an entire marketing group at Microsoft that reduced themselves to a single digit apiece, losing head, torso, limbs—everything but the little toe, you know the one that goes, “wee, wee, wee all the way home. I think they had issues with one of their competitors.”