Raves & Rants
THE REVIEWS ARE IN!
We’ve collected the initial imaginary reviews of the Imaginary Game News Network from a wide assortment of media sources and we are pleased to present them here to kick-off our unprecedented coverage of the video game industry and pastime that we all love. In an uncharacteristic effort to be unbiased, we’ve included the raves and the rants, as well as those reviews that seem to be the products of confused minds. In the end, the only opinions that really count are those of our readers. We await your comments with baited breath. Read on…
“…the very best of irresponsible journalism…” The New York Times
“Three thumbs up!” Newsweek
“We were hooked.” Crochet Magazine
“Unbelievable!” Kotaku
“…so clever you could stick a tail on it and call it a ferret!” Edge Online
“I really expected something more. Maybe something funny or, well, clever. But this drivel makes my lip curl up like a fish in the desert and my rectum started itching the moment I began writing this imaginary review. If I wanted fake game news I could just read tea leaves, which isn’t such a bad idea because at least I’d have some tea to moisten my mouth. Would I visit IGNN again? Hell, yes. Now that I’ve seen my review, I’m dying to know what I just wrote about.” The Onion
“Every story is a scoop…of something.” 1up.com
“I knew Scott Pelland (not his imaginary clone) before he left Nintendo, and he seemed fairly normal. I even gave him a Reggie Pin for redesigning Nintendo Power. Needless to say, I’m considering asking for the pin back.” Reggie
“…of all the bloody cheek…” The Jagged Glass-Sitters Journal
“…a ferret? What’s so clever about a flipping ferret? Don’t they eat their own young? How smart is that? Now, cats are smart. I once saw a tabby unscrew the top of a peanut butter jar with its paws, dip into it with a plastic spoon and use the contents to lure a juicy mouse right into its jaws. Snap! That’s what I call clever. As for this fake game news blog thingy, that’s just stupid. I mean, what good is it? You’d never catch a juicy mouse with it, that’s for sure.” Cat Fancy
“There are five thousand gaming blogs scraping for the crumbs of real stories and one reporting fake game news, which makes every story on IGNN an exclusive. Brilliant.” Ad Age
“Is it April First and we just missed half a year? What’s going on here? Why doesn’t the world make sense anymore?” EGM online
“One more nail in the coffin of respectable journalism.” The Seattle PI (online)
“If ignorance is bliss, the folks at IGNN must be the happiest people on Earth.” The New Yorker
