IGNN–The Imaginary Game News Network

Archive for the ‘Features’ Category

NEW YORK, NY–A disgruntled worker at the Entertainment Software Rating Board office in New York City was cited and taken into custody by police yesterday for allegedly perpetrating mild animated violence. The unidentified worker reportedly drew a stick figure flip book animation on a sticky note pad depicting himself attacking fellow workers with a bathroom plunger then repeatedly flipped the offensive animation in front of frightened colleagues, some of whom fled from the building in terror. “The drawings were crude to say the least,” remarked arresting officer Patrick O’Milley of the 52nd Precinct. Read the full story>>

SUNNYVALE,CA—Promoting its upcoming Xbox 360/PS3 title, Dark Void, by giving away a Tesla Roadster was just the beginning of what has turned into Capcom’s unprecedented corporate giveaway orgy. Promotions Director, Ellie Vascom, has revealed that the Tesla raised so many eyebrows and garnered such vast fan interest that Capcom has thrown open its coffers to satisfy consumer demand for high-end goodies. “The Tesla was cool, and we received more than 10 million web site hits in less than 30 minutes when we made the announcement,” said Vascom. “Since then, interest has gone through the roof! Read the full story>>

REDWOOD CITY, CA–In a recent press conference, EA spokesperson, Marv Lentil, shocked the gaming world when he announced, “It has officially left the game.” in response to a reporter’s question about the famous EA Sports slogan.  Following a stunned silence, Lentil added, “The undefined nature of It was always a problem for EA Sports. What is It, everyone wanted to know. Of course, if we revealed what It was, then we would also have a problem because we’d be giving away trade secrets and damaging our own brand. It, frankly, put us between a rock and a hard place. So we have parted ways with It. Read the full story>>

STAPLETON, GA–Teddy Bear Week’s pick for the company that best embodies the values of the teddy bear–namely cuddleosity, humility, softicity, cuteility and squeezeability–shocked the plush toy industry as well as the award’s winner, video game giant Nintendo. Teddy Bear Week’s editorial board made the surprise announcement one day after BusinessWeek announced that Nintendo was its pick for best company of the year. Editor-in-chief Dana Michelit emphasized that TBweek’s choice had been made several weeks prior to the announcement and that their pick was in no way influenced by BusinessWeek. Read the full story>>

TAMPA, FL–Freshly Ground Games, the iPhone game developer responsible for Caffeine Rampage, is on the road to corporate expansion now that president, owner, programmer, artist, marketer, accountant, tester, and customer service representative Tim Beanman has posted help wanted ads on Gamasutra, Craigslist and several other web sites. Beanman told IGNN that if he didn’t get some help soon he would be dead within a month. “I didn’t think it would be this hard publishing a little  iPhone game app,” Beanman lamented during our interview. “I mean, actually programming Caffeine Rampage only took two weeks Read the full story>>

BILLINGS, MT–A guy named Chuck (32) who lives in this rugged, mining community, is known for issuing a sometimes insightful analysis of the gaming industry each year at this time. Reporters recently asked Chuck if the tradition was going to continue this year. “I’m not sure,” responded Chuck, who works on a construction crew that specializes in building roads through ecologically stressed environments, such as Yellowstone National Park. “The industry might be in a downward spiral that ultimately destroys our western civilization or it could be ready to blast off to new heights never before imagined… Read the full story>>