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Friday, July 30th, 2010

Covering the gaming world with hot scoops since 1889!

Archive for the ‘Features’ Category

Tissue Kills Spelunker Fan

The latest Spelunker fan--killed by a falling tissueHOKINAKA, JAPAN–Strange and disturbing stories out of Japan are nothing new. But when fans of the Spelunker video game start dying in bizarre ways, Nell Chase will be on the case faster than you can say “gastrointestinal endoscopy.” Read the full story>>

Jesus Spotted in Modern Warfare 2

Jesus in Modern Warfare 2LONDON, U.K.–Emanuel Idlington of Camden Court Lane, London was shocked to discover an image of Jesus Christ cleverly concealed in a scene of the recently released war game, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. The alleged blasphemous image (as highlighted in the photo) appears as a wall stain in a Rio de Janeiro slum. During a fierce fire-fight while playing the game, Emanuel noticed the stain and was drawn to it. “Something about the stain just didn’t seem right,” related Emanuel (27), an unemployed promotions director, “so I paused the game and knelt in front of the telly to study what was there.” Read the full story>>

Gamer Defeated by Life

a knight in armor and a wind turbine on campusNETHERCOTT ISLAND, ME–Tatum Gnuth (18) grew up on a remote island off the rugged Maine coast,  thinking he was the center of the universe. He was an only child, schooled via radio and the Internet, and the mainland was little more than a shadow on the horizon. But it wasn’t the isolation that gave Tatum a skewed perspective of the world; according to psychologist Dr. Avery Attkin, it was the boy’s penchant for playing video games.

“He simply was not prepared to deal with the real world,” noted Attkin.

When Tatum left his home to attend the University of Maine, the culture shock was apparent to everyone. Read the full story>>

Super Model Admits Getting Fashion Cues From Bratz Games

NEW YORK, NY–Super Model Jolene Fatalle (25) confirmed rumors that her famed sense of style and panache is borrowed almost entirely from playing online Bratz games. Read the full story>>

Rock Band Champ Implodes On Solo Tour

Rock Band performanceWORTHY, SUSSEX, UK–Alex VanImpish was at the peak of his game. With Rock Band mates Luke, Jennie Q. and Ibid, Alex reached the finals of the UK Rock Band championship held by Electronic Arts last month. The band, known as ColdPlastic, had grown a Facebook following of over a million fans in just three weeks, and lead guitarist Alex was the instant darling of the gamer scene, cementing his status as gaming’s heartthrob kid by appearing on Sky TV’s The Beatles Rock Band release day demopalooza.

“I thought it would last for “fooking” ever,” Alex told IGNN in an exclusive e-mail exchange. Read the full story>>

Attractive Scientist (and partner) Predict Evolutionary Demise of the Thumb

BERKELEY, CA–Evolutionary scientists working to understand the complex interactions between lifestyle and biological evolution have discovered a remarkable connection between evolutionary artifacts and environmental changes that suggest current trends in gaming will eventually lead to the loss of human thumbs. Writing in The Monthly Science Journal of Evolutionary Artifact Research, doctors Emily Slipsot and Jasmine LeFeaux of the University of California, Berkeley, site multi-generational studies using white mice trained to play maze games in which a critical element of the game is changed… Read the full story>>

News Bites
  • Rare Countdown to the End?
    June 7, 2010 |

    Manworthing-On-Pebble, UK–Rare’s website is ticking off the days to some unknown and potentially catastrophic event that has kept the gaming world teetering on the edge of its seat for days. The Imaginary Game News Newtwork (aka Network) speculates as to the fate of gaming, mankind and a squirrel. Read the full story>>

  • Ogelstomp To Rescue Games
    March 24, 2010 |

    REDMOND, WA–Industry newbie, Marcus Oglestomp has a plan to save the gaming industry. Read the full story>>

  • Nintendo’s Head Games
    March 16, 2010 |

    KYOTO, JAPAN–Nintendo Co. Ltd. once again failed to confirm if the company has chosen to leapfrog the current generation of HD television sets for a future, higher definition technology that appears only in players’ minds. Read the full story>>

  • Stock Game Investigated
    March 15, 2010 |

    PROVIDENCE, R.I.–Start-up, OmniGood Games, has seen a meteoric rise in stock value of more than 10,000 percent over the past two months even though OGG hasn’t released anything except for upbeat press statements. Now the SEC wants to know what’s afoot. IGNN’s Nell Chase investigates. Read the full story>>

  • Microsoft discovers idiot programmer
    March 5, 2010 |

    REDMOND, WA–Protests of shock and dismay were heard throughout Microsoft today as the news spread that an employee in the Xbox group was actually an idiot. Is it possible that the Big M is a fool’s paradise? IGNN looks into charges of descrimination and drooling. Read the full story>>

  • Graffitinauts Banned In 12 States Before It Is Even Announced
    March 3, 2010 |

    SALEM, OR–Legislators across the country, seeking to stem the tide of reckless, society-changing videogame projects, have taken the unprecedented step of banning a non-existent game. IGNN has the reaction from both sides of the controversial decision. Read the full story>>

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