IGNN--The Imaginary Game News Network » Features

Tissue Kills Spelunker Fan

IGNN Staff — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 16:43:13 +0000

HOKINAKA, JAPAN--Strange and disturbing stories out of Japan are nothing new. But when fans of the Spelunker video game start dying in bizarre ways, Nell Chase will be on the case faster than you can say "gastrointestinal endoscopy."

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Jesus Spotted in Modern Warfare 2

IGNN Staff — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 16:51:25 +0000

LONDON, U.K.--Emanuel Idlington of Camden Court Lane, London was shocked to discover an image of Jesus Christ cleverly concealed in a scene of the recently released war game, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. The alleged blasphemous image (as highlighted in the photo) appears as a wall stain in a Rio de Janeiro slum. During a fierce fire-fight while playing the game, Emanuel noticed the stain and was drawn to it. "Something about the stain just didn't seem right," related Emanuel (27), an unemployed promotions director, "so I paused the game and knelt in front of the telly to study what was there."

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Gamer Defeated by Life

IGNN Staff — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:47:05 +0000

NETHERCOTT ISLAND, ME--Tatum Gnuth (18) grew up on a remote island off the rugged Maine coast, thinking he was the center of the universe. He was an only child, schooled via radio and the Internet, and the mainland was little more than a shadow on the horizon. But it wasn't the isolation that gave Tatum a skewed perspective of the world; according to psychologist Dr. Avery Attkin, it was the boy's penchant for playing video games.

"He simply was not prepared to deal with the real world," noted Attkin.

When Tatum left his home to attend the University of Maine, the culture shock was apparent to everyone.

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Super Model Admits Getting Fashion Cues From Bratz Games

IGNN Staff — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:28:51 +0000

NEW YORK, NY--Super Model Jolene Fatalle (25) confirmed rumors that her famed sense of style and panache is borrowed almost entirely from playing online Bratz games.

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Rock Band Champ Implodes On Solo Tour

Gideon Chazwit-Stoop — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:18:53 +0000

WORTHY, SUSSEX, UK--Alex VanImpish was at the peak of his game. With Rock Band mates Luke, Jennie Q. and Ibid, Alex reached the finals of the UK Rock Band championship held by Electronic Arts last month. The band, known as ColdPlastic, had grown a Facebook following of over a million fans in just three weeks, and lead guitarist Alex was the instant darling of the gamer scene, cementing his status as gaming's heartthrob kid by appearing on Sky TV's The Beatles Rock Band release day demopalooza.

"I thought it would last for "fooking" ever," Alex told IGNN in an exclusive e-mail exchange.

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Attractive Scientist (and partner) Predict Evolutionary Demise of the Thumb

IGNN Staff — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 17:04:55 +0000

BERKELEY, CA--Evolutionary scientists working to understand the complex interactions between lifestyle and biological evolution have discovered a remarkable connection between evolutionary artifacts and environmental changes that suggest current trends in gaming will eventually lead to the loss of human thumbs. Writing in The Monthly Science Journal of Evolutionary Artifact Research, doctors Emily Slipsot and Jasmine LeFeaux of the University of California, Berkeley, site multi-generational studies using white mice trained to play maze games in which a critical element of the game is changed...

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Pokémon Abuse Rampant

IGNN Staff — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 00:48:37 +0000

SEATTLE, WA--The raves take place in sold-out venues, often in broad daylight and sometimes within walking distance of elementary schools. But these raves are not wild, Bacchanalian affairs in which young adults dance, hook-up and indulge in a variety of narcotic substances as previous generations have. These raves are dedicated to one thing--the humiliation, taunting, torture and ultimate butchery of innocent Pokémon. The ugly flipside of the Pokémon megaphenomenon that has pervaded modern society for more than a decade is a counterculture of disaffected Pokémon-haters, often failed trainers themselves

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Special Report: Microsoft Out of Time?

IGNN Staff — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:26:17 +0000

The Imaginary Game News Network, in a special investigative report, details how researchers from the University of Washington in Seattle have been testing the flow of time in and around areas of intense Microsoft activity, and that they have arrived at several startling conclusions.

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Her Majesty Bejeweled

IGNN Staff — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 18:04:07 +0000

Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain ordered PopCap Games to produce a special Crown Jewels version of popular casual computer game Bejeweled 2.

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Run On Lode Runner

IGNN Staff — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 17:50:37 +0000

WASHINGTON, D.C.--Noting a Wall Street Journal report of a recent spike in the sales of Lode Runner for Xbox LIVE Arcade by people who thought the game's piles of gold would provide a hedge against economic uncertainty, Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke offered his views during a weekly appearance before the Senate Finance Committee.

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