WASHINGTON, D.C.–President Obama announced today that he has authorized a fact-finding commission to determine the feasibility of extracting valuable resources from video games. “It has come to my attention that …read more

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Having attained the pinnacle of political and humanitarian honors with this year’s Nobel Peace prize, President Barack Obama has set his sights on an even more elusive goal–to win the coveted Academy of Interactive Arts & Sciences Best Game of the Year Award. In yesterday’s surprise address to both houses of Congress, the President outlined his game-changing plan: “I intend to create a game that all Americans will have the right and the obligation to purchase and enjoy, and I swear to you now that this All-American video game will be ready for launch by this Holiday shopping season.”

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Controversy has rocked the capital since yesterday’s press announcement revelation that President Obama regularly plays MMORPGs (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games) late at night when he should be getting some rest.

“Every day is a big day,” noted Dr. Ruth Shillback, a D.C. pediatrician, “particularly for first-term presidents.”